


Closing In

by justcallmeradio



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gansey Needs A Hug, Gansey angst, God why did I write this, Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Poor Gansey, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ronan Lynch is Bad at Feelings, and he gets one, he tries his best though, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2021-01-13
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:02:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28318686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justcallmeradio/pseuds/justcallmeradio
Summary: Gansey is unable to escape the memories of his death but luckily his friends are there to help him.Told from Gansey, Blue, Adam, and Ronan’s POV. Takes place before The Raven King
Relationships: Richard Gansey III & Adam Parrish, Richard Gansey III & Blue Sargent, Richard Gansey III & Ronan Lynch, Richard Gansey III/Blue Sargent, Ronan Lynch & Adam Parrish, Ronan Lynch & Blue Sargent
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. Gansey

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gansey’s POV

They were everywhere; touching his skin, in his hair, crawling up his arms, buzzing in his ears. 

Gansey tripped over the log... no, that’s not right. He was in Monmouth, alone, not in the Washington D.C. woods, Gansey knew that.... but all he could see was bees, surrounding him, cutting off his air, stinging his skin until it burned. 

Gansey clawed at his face, trying anything to just get them off. His mind was swirling too fast, he couldn’t pick out any thoughts outside of his panic. Not again, not again.   
His nails dug into his skin, and it hurt, but not more than the sting of the bees. He just had to get them off, _get them off, get them_ -

They kept stinging, everywhere. Not a part of Gansey that wasn’t burning in pain. His skin was on fire. He was going to die, again. The breath was stolen from his lungs. Gansey kept scratching at his face. Anything to make it stop. 

And then it did. As suddenly as it started, Gansey took a shuttering breath and air flooded his lungs. The black spots clouding his eyes disappeared. Gansey realized he was on the floor of the bathroom in Monmouth. There were no bees. He was fine. Except his face still stung from where he dug his fingers into his skin. His lungs were sore with the effort of breathing. 

Slowly, Gansey pulled himself up onto his feet. He gripped the sink as tightly as he could, but his hands wouldn’t stop shaking. But he was fine, this wasn’t real, it was in his head, he was better than his. 

His legs almost gave out when he looked in the mirror. Scrapes ran down his face from where he had torn at his skin. His forehead was bleeding, right above his left eyes. This wasn't real, but the scratches were, and it hurt. 

Ganseys breath started coming in fits again. His ears were ringing. Or was that buzzing? No, this can’t be happening. There weren't any bees. Gansey felt something crawling up his arm. 

The door slammed open, making Gansey jump. It slammed shut again. Ronan.   
He can’t see him like this. Gansey can’t let Ronan see him like this.

He let go of the sink and splashed his face with water. The marks remained. Gansey knew they would, but it wasn’t right. Aglionby boys have perfect skin. A Gansey should never have a scratch; they were perfect, untouched by the world. His face, arms, wherever else he tore at his flesh, should be unblemished. _Gansey_ should be unblemished. 

“Hurry up, Dick,” Ronan said, kicking the door.

Gansey looked in the mirror again. Dead eyes looked back at him. Those shouldn’t be his eyes... but wasn’t he dead anyway? Gansey slashed his face with water one more time and straightened his hair. He was fine. Nothing had happened. He could still hear the buzzing in his ears. 

He stepped out of the room to find Ronan glaring at him, arms crossed. Gansey forced himself to look at Ronan, trying to pretend he wasn’t still shaking. 

“What the hell happened to you?” Ronan asked.

Gansey couldn’t answer. He couldn’t move. He just stared at Ronan. He couldn’t look down, not when he still felt the bee creeping up with his arm.

“Gansey!” Ronan snapped.

Right, he needed to respond. 

“That’s not the most pleasant way to greet a person, you know,” he replied, forcing a light air into his voice. 

“What’s wrong with your face?”

His skin ached where his fingers clawed into it. There were more bees now, on his hands, his neck. 

“Acne,” he choked out.

Gansey would have felt bad lying to Ronan, but this didn't feel like a lie, not when Ronan Could see right in front of him how was it was from the truth. 

“Gansey.” Ronan's voice was softer than he had ever heard it. He couldn’t move. If Gansey moved, they would sting, and he would die. 

“Fuck this,” Ronan said, as the bite suddenly back in his voice, as if it was never gone. Gansey heard something slam to the ground and the door swinging open. The entire building seemed to rattle when it slammed shut. 

Only when the car pulled out of the driveway with a deafening screech did the buzzing finally consume him. The bees swarmed, and Gansey fell to the ground and cried. 

~~~~~~~~~~

The door opened again. Someone was talking, but Gansey couldn’t tell who. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but he hadn’t been able to move from where he was pressed against the wall on the floor of the bathroom. It was consuming him.

Gansey curled up tighter. 

“Gansey?” The voice was growing louder now, but with that so were the bees. 

“Gansey, what happened?”

Something touched his hand. Gansey flinched but- it was real. Another hand slipped around his, lacing their fingers together. It was small, and warm, and gentle. Gansey lifted his head to see a girl sitting at his side. No bees, no danger, just her. 

“Oh, Gansey, ” she sighed, tracing the angry lines on his face with her other hand. He winced but didn't pull away. Her touch was soft, not like the bees that kept stinging. _They wouldn't stop stinging._

“Blue?” He whispered.

Everything was closing in. Trees were pressing in on all sides, leaving him trapped with the deafening buzzing. But Blue squeezed his hand, and he was back in Monmouth, breathing again.

“I’m sorry,” Gansey said, but he could barely choke out the words, “there were- I mean I thought-“

“It’s okay,” Blue interrupted. “You’re okay.”

Gansey nodded, but everything was wrong. Everything hurt. This shouldn’t be happening. “I’m fine. You shouldn’t be here. I’m fine-“

Blue wrapped Gansey in a hug, effectively stopping his words. He didn't have the energy to fight it, to do anything except let her hold him. She pulled him close and the storm went away, the buzzing faded, the shadow of death looming over him retreated. 

He lost track of time again, everything blurred together, but Blue never let go as sobs wracked Gansey body.

Eventually, the world came back into place around him and Blue. She pulled away and brushed the hair out of this face. Gansey dropped his head.

“Jane, I-“

“We don’t need to talk about this now,” she said. “You look exhausted. Let’s watch a movie. Something bad, maybe a Christmas movie.”

Gansey smiled, the tension finally leaving his body. Nothing else sounded better in the world. Blue stood up, then pulled him to his feet and onto the couch. Blue snatched the remote and curled into Gansey.

His lungs burned, his face was raw and littered with scratches, and his heart was heavy with the weight of the disastrous day, but with Blue next to him, and a terrible movie on in the background, Gansey fell asleep completely at peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so gansey is the first pov, but I’m going to try to post all of them before the end of the month. Ronan is next, then blue then adam. Sorry that everyone is ooc and that it’s a bit of a wreck, but I hope you like it. Comments/suggestions/constructive criticism is very appreciated. Thanks for reading!  
> <3


	2. Ronan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ronan’s POV

“Hurry up, Dick,” Ronan said, kicking the door.

Ronan had just come back from church and he was pissed. Declan was being his usual self, which means they fought, and Gansey wouldn’t get out of the fucking bathroom.

Ronan went to kick the door again, but it opened, and he saw Gansey. 

All thoughts of Declan left his mind. Everything about Gansey was gone. His bright eyes were hollow, red with the remnants of fallen tears. His hair was wild, his posture slouched, and his face was covered in scratches, red and angry and mean. Gansey didn’t move, he didn’t say anything. 

“What the hell happened to you?” Ronan said, unable to stand the silence.

Gansey didn’t seem to hear his words. They stared at each other, but Ronan could tell that Gansey wasn’t seeing him. 

“Gansey,” he snapped. Gansey blinked hard and his eyes cleared, but Ronan wished they would go back. He would see the pain in them, the fear. 

“That’s not the most pleasant way to greet a person, you know,” Gansey replied. If Ronan hadn’t been staring at Gansey, he would have thought he was fine. 

“What’s wrong with your face?” Ronan thought he knew what happened, but he didn’t know what else to say. He could picture it, he had seen it himself. Gansey, reliving his death, being stung by imaginary bees until his body couldn't take it. But it had never left a physical scar. 

“Acne,” Gansey finally choked out.

Ronan couldn’t even be mad at Gansey for lying. Gansey was not okay. This was not okay. He shouldn’t be like this. Ronan had to fix it.

Ronan turned around and stormed out of the house. Before he knew it he was on the road, letting the sound of the engine drowned out his thoughts. He came to a screeching halt in front of Blue's house. Ronan didn’t leave the car, he was sure she heard his approach. Sure enough, Blue stepped outside, arms crossed.

“Ronan?” She said.

“Get in, maggot.” 

Blue rolled her eyes, but Ronan didn’t care if she was angry. Gansey was more important. 

“I have a shift a Nino’s in a half-hour, I’ll be done at five.”

“Skip it.”

“I can’t-“

“Blue, get in the car. It’s important.”

Blue stood there for a moment in silence, staring at Ronan. He didn’t back down. Finally, she got in the car. 

“I swear, if I lose my job because of you, I’m going to-“ Blue was cut off by Ronan hitting the gas. 

No one spoke until they left Blue’s neighborhood. She didn’t say a word as Ronan drove through stop signs and swerved around other cars. They weren’t going fast enough. 

“So where are we going?”

Ronan didn’t answer. All he would think of was Gansey, alone, in pain, and how he needed to fix it.

The drive was eternal, but eventually, he pulled into Monmouth.

“Out,” he snapped.

“Gee, thanks for the ride,” Blue said as she got out of the car. 

The second her door closed, Ronan pulled away.

“Ronan!” Blue called, but it was too late. He was already gone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Halfway to Adam’s apartment Ronan pulled out his phone.

“Ronan?” Adam said from the other line.

“Gansey needs help, I’m picking you up in five.”

With that, Ronan hung up. He let out a string of curses when he got stuck at a light. It was okay though, Blue could help Gansey, she would help him. But Ronan needed Adam. 

Adam was waiting outside his apartment when Ronan got there. He got in the car without hesitation, just like Ronan knew he would if he called.

“What happened?” Adam asked.

“Don’t know,” Ronan said. He could feel Adams stare, but he wouldn’t take his eyes off the road. “I got to Monmouth, he was all messed up.”

“What do you mean messed up? Did someone attack him?”

“No.” They were almost there. A few more miles. Ronan willed the car to go faster. 

“Christ, Ronan is he okay?” Adam's voice was rising at this point.

Was Gansey okay? He had to be. Ronan would make sure Gansey was okay. 

The rest of the ride was spent in silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ronan stormed up the stairs to Monmouth, barely restraining himself from throwing the door open. Adam tailed behind him. 

He walked into Monmouth slowly, not wanting to make anything worse. Blue turned around from where she was sitting on the couch and pressed a finger to her lips, not that she needed to, Ronan was silent. A Christmas movie played quietly on the tv. 

“He’s sleeping,” she whispered. “He’s alright.” 

That was all Ronan needed. He threw himself on the couch next to Blue. Gansey was on her other side, laying down with his head on her lap. Ronan let the tension leave his body. His work was done.

Blue and Adam started talking, but he ignored them. Gansey was okay. Ronan got his stupid court to Monmouth and everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, Ronan was interesting. This was probably really OOC but I could not be more different from Ronan. Still love him, but that probably made the chapter a lot shorter. Anyways, thanks for reading :)  
> <3


	3. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Blue’s POV

Blue cursed Ronan as she walked up the stairs. She shouldn't have gotten into his car. She was going to be fired for this. Blue can’t afford to lose this job, not when she is spending so much money with these stupid boys. 

When she opened the door, Blue froze. 

The place was empty.

“What the fuck Ronan,” she muttered, walking further into the room. Gansey’s bed was made. Everything was still.

“Gansey! Adam!” She said. “Noah!”

She looked in Ronan’s room. It was a mess, but no one was there. Noah’s was as desolate as always. 

“Ronan, why did you bring me here?” Blue asked herself as she poked through Gansey’s desk. His journal was still here. Why would Gansey leave it behind?

“Gansey!”

Blue opened the door to the bathroom, and her heart broke.

Gansey was on the floor, curled up, pressed against the wall. His head was hidden in his knees. She would see him shaking. 

“Gansey?” Blue whispered. He tensed up. She knelt by his side. He was crying, she realized. “Gansey, what happened?”

Blue was in shock. Sometimes, with all the masks he wore, it was hard to remember this Gansey. Under the “president cellphone” facade, the pretentious vocabulary, his childlike excitement when he explored, this Gansey was almost lost. The Gansey who was broken and afraid. 

Blue slowed reached for Gansey’s hand, lacing her fingers with his. He flinched. Gansey looked up then, and Blue couldn’t help but gasp. His stupid, beautiful face was damaged. His skin was scratched up. Blue could picture it: Gansey, alone, clawing at his face, trying to escape the bees that weren’t really there. 

“Oh Gansey,” she sighed, reaching out and tracing the lines in his face. 

“Blue?” He said. His voice was broken. 

His breathing was erratic. Blue has never seen him so scared. She squeezed his hand, and Gansey seemed to come back to earth.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “there were- I mean I thought-“

“It's okay,” Blue said, “you’re okay.” 

He wasn’t, but Blue didn’t know what else to say. “I’m fine. You shouldn’t be here. I’m fine-“

Gansey tried to get up, but Blue pulled him back down and into her arms. She held him as he cried. His whole body shook with the force of his sobs. Blue wanted more than anything to fix this. To put him back together. To bring back that ridiculous smile he made when she laughed, but for now, all she could do was hold him.

Eventually, Gansey’s grip on her loosened, and she pulled away, making sure to grab his hand again. He was still shaking. Dark bags hung under Gansey’s red eyes. Blue wondered the last time he had slept.

“Come on,” she said, pulling him up, “Let’s go watch a bad movie.”

“Jane, I-“ 

“We don’t need to talk about this now,” she said. “You look exhausted. Let’s watch a movie. Something bad, maybe a Christmas movie.”

Gansey smiled, a small, wobbly smile, but it was warm. They sat on the couch, and Blue put on the worst Christmas movie she could find. Gansey leaned into her side, and she rested her head on his. Blue rubbed circles into the back of his hand, just trying to remind Gansey she was here. 

The movie droned on in the background. Blue wasn’t following the plot, not that there was much to follow. She couldn’t think of anything besides the boy next to her. Stupid Raven Boy.

“Hey Gansey,” Blue whispered. “Why don’t you lay down?”

Gansey didn’t respond. Exhaustion had finally overtaken him. Blue sighed. Carefully, she moved Gansey so he was laying down, his head on her lap. Despite the scratches on his face and the lingering tear tracks running down his cheeks, Gansey looked at peace in his sleep.

A car pulled up outside. Roan was back, presumably, Adam was with him. They were going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters are getting shorter. I feel like it’s because I’ve already said what needs to be said in the other chapters, but also in each chapter less time is being covered, so who knows. Anyways thanks for reading <3


	4. Adam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam’s POV

Adam was so shocked when he got the call from Ronan, he almost didn’t pick up. 

“Ronan?” He answered.

“Gansey needs help, I’m picking you up in five.”

The line went dead- because god forbid Ronan to give any actual information. Adam didn’t move. This didn’t make sense. Gansey? In trouble? Those words didn’t seem to go together. Gansey didn’t have problems. Not like Adam, who had bills to pay, and homework to get done, and had slept so little in the past few days that he wasn’t seeing straight. Gansey stayed up all night because he could, and faced no consequences.

Adam stared at the mountain of unfinished calculus homework and his half-written essay. He needed to stay here and get his work done. He needed to miraculously find the money to pay his bills. He needed to go to sleep. But Ronan called, and Ronan doesn’t use his phone unless it’s important. Adam walked out of his apartment and waited on the street for Ronan to pull up.

Adam heard the BMW before he saw it. Ronan said nothing to Adam, he just stared straight ahead. Adam got in the car, and Ronan hit the gas. 

“What happened?” Adam asked. 

“Don’t know.” Ronan didn’t look at him. “I got to Monmouth, Gansey was all messed up.”

“What do you mean messed up?” Adam asked. Ronan didn’t respond. They were driving past the town now, the worn-down buildings flying past in a blur. “Did someone attack him?” It wasn’t out of the question. Adam shuttered as Whelk popped into this mind. 

“No.” Ronan’s voice was stone cold, as always.

“Christ, Ronan is he okay?”

Once again Ronan didn’t answer, and the rest of the drive was spent in silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Adam wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he got to Monmouth. The ride here gave him time to imagine every terrible possible outcome. Maybe Gansey was dead. Or his parents were dead. Or Helen.

The one thing he wasn’t expecting was for everything to be fine. When he walked into Monmouth, nothing was wrong. Blue was sitting on the couch, Gansey stretched out with his head on her lap, turned away so that Adam couldn’t see him. They were watching a movie, a Christmas movie it looked like.

Blue turned around to look at them then. There were no indications that anything was wrong with her face. 

“He’s sleeping,” She whispered.

Ronan seemed satisfied by this and threw himself onto the couch opposite Blue, but Adam was starting to get angry. He was dragged out here to watch a Christmas movie? Adam had homework, and if he didn’t do it, he would lose his scholarship. Ronan didn’t understand that, and Gansey certainly didn’t either. 

Adam walked around the couch to get Ronan to take him home, but he stopped in his tracks when he saw Gansey. His homework didn’t matter anymore. Or his bills. Or any of it. 

Ganseys face was ruined, broken. Someone had scratched at it, clawed at it, something because it was torn up. It wasn’t right.

“He’s okay,” Blue whispered, pulling him out of his trance. 

“What happened?” He asked.

“Don’t know, we didn’t talk yet.” She said, looking down at Gansey, running a finger down the side of his face. “I think he was having some sort of flashback, to his death... like Noah does.”

Adam's heart stopped. “So... he did that... to himself?”

“He’s alright,” She said, avoiding the question, which was the answer within itself.

“Blue-“

“Will you shut up and watch the movie?” Ronan snapped, cutting Adam off. 

He didn’t have enough answers. He needed to know why this happened, what happened. Wasn’t Adam Gansey’s magician, whatever that meant. He should have prevented this. That was his job right? To protect Gansey from the things he couldn’t see. 

Adam sat down on the floor in front of the couch. Noah was next to him now, watching the movie as if he had been there the whole time, but maybe he had been, Adam couldn’t remember. Some magician. 

He couldn’t stop looking at Gansey. Could have been dead, Adam thought. He looked dead now. Adam just wanted for Gansey to open his eyes, smile that stupid fancy smile that he hated, and say something so ridiculous that Adam got mad. Gansey kept sleeping though. Blue was asleep now, too, he realized.

“Go to sleep, Adam,” Noah said. They were inches apart, but his voice was miles away. Adam couldn’t tell if it was in his head or because of Noah. He couldn’t go to sleep. He had so much to do. He had Gansey. He had-

“Adam,” Noah’s voice was close now. He looked away from Gansey and into Noah’s eyes. “There’s going to be time.”

Adam nodded. It didn’t feel like there was going to be time. But his eyes were closing. Ronan was sleeping now, which Adam never thought in a million years would happen. The possibilities of disaster weighted in the back of his mind, but for once, Adam let himself forget them, and let the wave of sleep the was consuming Monmouth overtake him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look, I don't like Adam very much, sue me. It’s not that I hate him but he’s just not my favorite. Did I proof read this? Absolutely fucking not. It’s a complete mess but so is my life, and I just wanted to finish this. Ahhhh I hope you liked it..? Thanks for reading, leave a comment it makes my day <3


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